Mr. B
vs.
Lekemia
Acute Myeloid Leukemia. How can three words change the lives of a man and the family and friends who love him so much? Bo Bernard is struggling to find that answer right now. After many years in the telecom industry, Bo decided life was too short not to do what you were born to do, so he became a 5th grade writing teacher at Parish Episcopal School. It was a match made in heaven. Known to his students as Mr. B, he loved his students, and they loved him right back. Grammar and the basics of good writing became a daily game, played with enthusiasm by both teacher and students.
In mid-August Bo and his wife, Linda, were involved in volunteer work, looking forward to an October trip to Virginia to see relatives, and helping to plan their daughter’s upcoming wedding. Then a routine blood test sent them to the ER and on to the hospital for 30 days of Phase 1 chemotherapy treatment.
The Diagnosis: Part 1
We received a call from my primary care physician, Dr. Jennifer Duewall, on the afternoon of Wednesday, August 25, telling me to go to the nearest ER. Over a six day period and two blood tests, my white blood cell count had gone from a normal 4000 - 10,000 cells to 100,000.
Confused and concerned, we headed to Medical City Plano across from her office. Covid-19 was spiking at the time, so the ER was crowded. It took about six hours to get the labs back, confirming that my white blood cell count was extremely high and growing rapidly. And that is when we heard the word, Leukemia, for the first time.
Quick Decisions, Not Much Information
By 1:30 a.m., I had been transferred to the Leukemia Treatment and Transplant Center at Medical City Dallas. Mornings start around 3 a.m. in a hospital. Blood needs to be drawn and sent to the lab. Vital signs need to be taken and recorded, and, if you have blood sugar problems, fingers need to be pricked and blood sugar levels recorded. These numbers are measured and recorded throughout the day and night, as they are a vital component in determining which, how much, and how many medications you will receive.
Our oncology team is comprised of three oncologists, Dr. Bhushan, Dr. Mathews, and Dr. Vance, who specialize in the treatment of Leukemia. We met with them at 10 a.m. While the consensus was that I had Acute Myeloid Leukemia, we couldn't know which variant without a bone marrow biopsy.
When cancer comes on as quickly as it did for Linda and I, you don't have a lot of time for research. You can only react as things come at you and hope for the best. Within 12 hours of diagnosis, we were being asked to select a team, commit to an aggressive in-patient treatment, and I'm still struggling with the spelling of Leukemia.
Do we want to proceed with treatment? Can we afford to proceed? Is this our best option for treatment? Are we comfortable with the team of physicians? And in the background, we are hearing things like: you could be dead in two weeks if left untreated. No pressure.
Cancer Sucks
There is no such thing as a good experience with cancer. Even if you are lucky enough to be in remission, it is always in the back of your mind that it could return at anytime. It wears on the patient. It wears on the caregiver. It wears on family and friends.
No two cancer experiences are the same. Your physical health going into the fight, your attitude throughout the fight, and your access to support and resources will make each experience unique.
Once the cancer has been identified, you need to learn as much about it as you can. And when looking for the medical team to fight the cancer, be sure to find a group that has experience with the type of cancer you have.
Fight or Flight
When something like this hits you from out of the blue, it is only normal to go through the seven stages of grief. In the end, it comes down to what are you going to do: will you give up or will you take it head on? To be honest, I struggled with this. I knew we didn't have the resources to take this thing on. I struggled with asking other people for money. And what made me think I deserved the opportunity more than anyone else in a similar situation?
My moment of truth came after a text from Dave Monaco, Head of School at Parish Episcopal. He offered to connect us with Amy Roseman. Amy is the mom of Robert Roseman (Class of 2019) and the Director of Patient Engagement of DKMS, an international non-profit organization dedicated to the fight against blood cancers and blood disorders.
Her call could not have come at a better time. Linda and I were probably at our lowest point. She told us the story of Earl Young, an Olympic gold medalist from the 1960 Olympics. Mr. Young contracted the same variant of AML as I have when he was 70. He received a transplant ten years ago. He has dedicated his life to helping others have the same lifesaving opportunity. His story and a few Ted Lasso episodes have helped me "BELIEVE" that this is something I can do.
If the answer is to take the disease on, then you can't be partially committed. You must be prepared to work harder and bring a positive attitude to everything you are asked to do. I have decided to fight, and this is my journey. I hope you decide to walk with me.
It Takes A Team
When it comes to resources, your team is the most critical. It takes a skilled medical team of doctors, nurses, nurse techs, and, if you are lucky enough, a dedicated and loving caregiver, and the support of family and friends. The cancer may be in your body, but the weight of the daily struggle is shared by many, none more so than the caregiver.
I could not have made it this far without the 24X7 support and encouragement of my wife, Linda. It is a horrible job, one that I would not wish on my worse enemy, but I am oh so glad that my best friend and love of my life has been at my side.
