The Final Frontier ~ Staci Atwood

April 1: The last couple of weeks have been a roller coaster for Mr. B and family. He had high hopes that after being on his latest trial medicine, his numbers would be fantastic and there would be a turn around in his battle against Leukemia. This wasn't the case. Last week he was told there was a 1% change and there was no more the doctors could do.

Mr. B has run through the gamut of emotions these last couple of weeks. He has gone through anger and guilt and this week acceptance and peace. He made the decision to forgo treatment and spend his final time with his family and friends surrounding him. He has been too weak to update his treatment page, but his thoughts have been on keeping people aware of what goes on during his battle with cancer.

Today I was able to present to him a video made by Stephanie Pearson that included messages to him from former students. He was so happy about this video. For a brief moment Mr. B was able to smile and laugh at some of the memories shared, and after every student spoke he would ask me to pause the video so that he could tell us stories about each student. His students meant so much to him, and I am truly thankful he was able to see that he meant the world to them as well.

April 8: We are in the end days. Mr. B can no longer speak with us, but is aware we are there. When I was a baby in a coma at age 1, Mr. B would come into my hospital room and sing the Burger King jingle, Have it your way. I played this for him and the room, and as we sat around in his bedroom laughing at the jingles of the 70s, all of us would swear he let out out a little laugh as well. It is so hard to face the reality that I won't have my pops around to tell me that I need to be thinking ahead at all times and what I need to be doing to make my life even better... Pops has been my uncle, my father, and the man I have always compared others to...much to their dismay. He has taught me to be more extroverted, when it really does not come naturally, encouraged me to take risks such as scuba diving with sharks, racing cars with him and trying things that might seem scary at the time, and being a compassionate human being.

He is the man who sang me to sleep with the song Stewball, sat by my bed when I was sick, held me when I was sad, went on adventures with me, celebrated my accomplishments, and most of all, loved me. He never let me give up and always encouraged me to try harder. I am not ready to say goodbye to this amazing man.

April 9: He is gone...with Linda by his side, Mr. B passed away peacefully.